A Journal of Toronto Activity

Caribbean Carnival

The Caribbean Carnival’s annual Grand Parade took place on Saturday. I went down to the lake shore and talked with Festival Chairman Vincent Cardonne as the parade was rolling by.

Q/S: So tell me about this year’s Cariban-

VC: Nope, stop right there.

Q/S: Huh?

VC: That word you were about to say. Don’t say it.

Q/S: Which one, Cariba—

VC: Yes. That one. Legally we can’t use that name any more. We are now Scotiabank Presents the 44th Annual Festival of Carribean Culture and Entertainment (Carnival/Parade).

Q/S: That seems a lot more cumbersome than Carib—

VC: Ah ah ah! Stop, stop. Any time anyone says that word we have to pay a royalty of $10,000.

Q/S: Any time anyone says it?

VC: Anyone.

Q/S: So like if that guy over there said that word you would have to pay someone $10,000? Even if you didn’t know him and he had nothing to do with the festival?

VC: That’s right. So please be very cautious.

Q/S: Well uh I hate to be the bearer of bad news here but I must have heard like thirty people say that word just while I was walking to this interview.

VC: …What?

Q/S: Yeah, like “Which way is…” or “How do I get to…” or “I’m really enjoying…” or “I’m at…” You know. Just using it like it’s the name of the festival.

VC: Oh god.

Q/S: Yeah, and those are just the people I saw. I would assume hundreds if not thousands of people have been saying that word all day. Tens of thousands maybe. And that’s not counting everyone who’s said it over the past few weeks.

VC: Oh dear god no. I’m ruined! I’m ruined!

Q/S: But how exactly can you be held liable for— Hey!

I had to cut the interview short at this point because the guy ran away screaming.

—Carolyn Fautaea

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